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1 02, 2017

February 1st, 2017…new month, new day in a new year :)

Where did January go?!

February 1st, 2017…new month, new day in a new year.

How did January go for you? Was it everything you hoped it would be? Or did it knock you up side the head or pull the rug out from underneath you? Or somewhere in between? Mine completely knocked me for a loop.  Life can do that!

The morning of January 1st my father and I, and my family, sadly greeted the year with the passing of my dear mother. It’s been a whirlwind of a month, being the oldest daughter in the family and giving caregiving assistance to my father in the care of my mother – everything is different, except for the love and care in our family, it has grown deeper and stronger. Mom would have wanted it that way.

So, we pick up the broken pieces of our hearts – we remember the good times and memories with mom. We keep her love in our hearts. We come alongside my dad as he moves through life without his lifelong partner of 60 years, wow! That’s a long time <3 They stuck together through the good, the bad and the ugly, and believe me their was plenty of ugly.  They persevered, not always sure how they were going to make it through the winters of their relationship, but always remembering that spring and summer were just around the corner.  No matter how dark and bleak it seemed at the time – they hung on. For that I am so grateful!
As their teenage daughter, I was part of creating some of the UGLY they had to deal with in our lives and their marriage. Sorting it all out isn’t easy and [...]

21 11, 2016

Resilience Can Be Learned – Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Matters

Resilience – Are we ever in need of a HUGE dose of it about now.   The culture chaos all around us has so much to do with emotional intelligence (EQ), also known as Resilience.   

Researcher Daniel Goleman, in his groundbreaking brain and behavioral research shows a shift in how we see IQ and life success.

What is EQ, Resilience anyway?   Up until 2012, in my studies to become a Certified Life Coach, I had never heard the term before.   Was it ever eye opening and life changing to learn how much of a road block the lack of EQ (Emotional Intelligence), or Resilience can be in one’s life.

Emotional Intelligence includes self-awareness and impulse control, persistence, zeal or enthusiasm and self-motivation, empathy and social deftness or skillfulness, ability without difficulty.   The really good news is these all can be acquired.

In his book, Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Dr. Goleman points out that the qualities I just listed above mark people who excel in real life: “whose intimate relationships flourish, who are stars in the workplace.  These are the hallmarks of character and self-displine, of altruism or selflessness and compassion – basic capacities needed if our society is to thrive.”

Why is emotional intelligence, resilience so important for right now as well as success moving forward?   Well, to put it right out there, the personal costs of deficits in emotional intelligence or resilience can range from problems in marriage and parenting to poor physical health.   “New research shows that chronic anger and anxiety create as great a health risk as chain smoking.”  Lack of emotional intelligence, or resilience can sabotage the intellect and ruin careers.  “Perhaps the greatest toll is on children, for whom risks include [...]

19 11, 2016

Reset Button – Words Lift Up & Words Tear Down – Lead in LOVE

Come together, right now….we need to agree to disagree in some cases.  At the end of the day, we need to consider the children of the future.   Protecting them and their innocence.

We must lead in LOVE. 

LifeVictory is thematic – The theme LEADS in LOVE, everything else is elementary and follows.

WORDS fitly spoken can heal…it is time to heal.

Join me in sharing words that heal.  

Peace,

Deborah

 

7 11, 2015

Resilience…..another word for Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Resilience is your ability to bounce back in the midst of adversity and overcome the hurdles of life.  It measures your aptitude for social and emotional interactions and skills that are critical for life success.

Emotional and relational intelligence (ERQ) is being aware of, recognize and understand our own emotions – taking ownership of our own emotions.  As well as those of others around us, and being able to constructively manage our own emotions and how they relate to the relationships around us.

Did you know that ERQ has been found to be more important in the scope of life success than someone’s IQ?

I don’t know about you but that gives me hope.   You are born with your IQ, but your ERQ can be improved upon and changed – a skill to build upon.   That’s cool!

Self-Awareness (Me) is the first key – Emotional Self-Awareness, Emotional Expression, Accurate Self-Assessment build towards Self-Confidence.

Self-Management (I) is second – Emotional Self Control, Anger Management and Self-Responsible – in other words taking responsibility.

Relational Awareness (Us) is third – Relational Awareness has to do with Empathy towards others.  Noticing that someone is in pain.  Being present.  Knowing what “not” to say.  Recognizing emotions in others.

When it comes to Empathy, the secret is listening, not talking.   Learning to be a good listener builds your empathy towards others.

Relational Management (We) is fourth – It encompasses 7 simple steps of ERQ empowerment:

#1 – Define the issue:  Listen & Seek Understanding (Seek First to Understand before being Understood)

#2 – Decide how important the issue is?

#3 – Do you need to apologize or ask for forgiveness? I was wrong.  I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  This isn’t always easy if we haven’t had it [...]

13 11, 2014

Mommy Baby Rescue

Getting the text at 8:15 a.m. “I am at the clinic right now” dropped a lead weight in my gut. Everything in me screamed, “No! Ending the life of your 5 1/2 month old baby in your womb will not solve your problems, it creates new ones!”

We had talked the night before and I shared my story of my abortion trauma experience and the things I so wished I had been told by the abortion clinic – the same one she was sitting in, but 34 years prior.

She didn’t want to go through with the abortion but she hadn’t been given other options either. This appointment was her 5th visit – every time she would walk out of the clinic because in her words, “Why should my baby be punished with a death sentence, he’s done nothing wrong. How could I hurt him like that? I just don’t know what else to do!”

I texted her back to see if we could meet, I will come to you. And would it be ok to bring a friend who is a specialist in open adoptions to at least give her more information about her options. All of them. And also, the known risk factors and aftermath of abortion trauma, especially at 5 1/2 months pregnant. Women Deserve Full Disclosure

I could feel the adrenal rushing through my body as the thought came to my mind, “MommyBabyRescue!” In my mind’s eye I saw an enormous guardian angel standing behind and protecting a pregnant mommy with her hands gently and protectively placed over her burgeoning belly. It was a beautiful picture [...]

  • Permalink Precious...innocent...inquisitive...miraculous...hopeful anticipation...just a few words to describe this Gallery

    Oops!! October came and went and here is october’s themed focus!

11 11, 2014

Oops!! October came and went and here is october’s themed focus!

Hhhmmm, when I think about being OTHERS FOCUSED my mind goes to the words of Christ when He talked about LOVE, in fact, no greater LOVE. Than to lay down one’s life for others.

Not an easy thing given how people treat us in this life at times. Choose to forgive them. Not easy, but very freeing.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying to go around and be someone’s whipping post or door mat.

But, I am saying that no matter what others do to you, consider this, you are only responsible for your response to what is done to you.

Being mindful to treat others the same exact way you would want them to treat you.

Ya know, I think if we were all honest with ourselves there are times when we provoke a quarrel or a fight. Yes, come on, admit it! We all are guilty to one degree or another. When was the last time you were hungry, angry, lonely or tired? That is the greatest likelihood when that can happen. So H.A.L.T.!

When you know you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired take a step back – take care of your responses to others and value yourself in the process.

Oh!! I love this! The merciful, kind, and generous person benefits the self for their deeds return to BLESS them, but those who are cruel and callous to the wants of others brings on them self retribution.

And, the light in the eyes of those whose heart is JOYFUL rejoices the hearts of others, and good news nourishes the bones! [...]

5 07, 2013

Independence Day vs. Interdependence Day

Independence Day vs. Interdependence Day – The difference may seem obvious but I would ask in the bigger picture of life is the all out drive for independence a good thing?

One of the L.I.F.E.V.I.C.T.O.R.Y. Life Principles being INTERDEPENDENCE is a reminder of how intertwined we human beings are. I recently read an article stating that the number one human condition is a deep sense of loneliness. We really were created for social connection – we need each other.

Is there someone you can connect with today? Reach out! http://ow.ly/i/2wXM3

20 11, 2011

Restoring Order

Blog.