Emotional Intelligence

9 07, 2017

Our Interdependence on Independence Day & Everyday

In Celebration of the signing of the Declaration of Independence lets also remember how interdependent we are upon each other.   Our country’s independence from a foreign dictator could have never been accomplished without the unity of those fighting for that independence.    They were interdependent upon each other.

Thomas Paine famously wrote in “The American Crisis” pamphlet during the American Revolutionary War, “These are times that try men’s (and women’s) souls.”

Some say we are in a crucible in our nation.   If so, how will we as individuals, and how as a nation will we respond.

First, what is a crucible?  It’s a container where metals are melted, or subjected to very high temperatures.  In a human sense, some would call it a fiery trial, or the refiner’s fire where metal is tested.  A crucible, or fiery trial can be brief or prolonged.   It can produce something better, or something worse.  The result of the refiner’s fire, often depends on the metal being tested.

Simply put, a crucible is a place or situation that forces people to change or make difficult decisions; a place or situation where different elements interact to produce something new.

Scottish historian and award-winning author makes a very good point to consider, “The point needs to be made that all individuals ground their view of the world within some conception of moral authority.  Not only those who are (religious) in a traditional sense, but also those who claim to have no (religious) faith at all, base their views of the world in unprovable assumptions and ‘being’ and ‘knowledge’.”

Hunter goes on to say, “Within communities that hold orthodox views, moral authority arises from a common commitment to transcendence, by which I mean a dynamic reality that is independent of, prior to, and more powerful than [...]

1 02, 2017

February 1st, 2017…new month, new day in a new year :)

Where did January go?!

February 1st, 2017…new month, new day in a new year.

How did January go for you? Was it everything you hoped it would be? Or did it knock you up side the head or pull the rug out from underneath you? Or somewhere in between? Mine completely knocked me for a loop.  Life can do that!

The morning of January 1st my father and I, and my family, sadly greeted the year with the passing of my dear mother. It’s been a whirlwind of a month, being the oldest daughter in the family and giving caregiving assistance to my father in the care of my mother – everything is different, except for the love and care in our family, it has grown deeper and stronger. Mom would have wanted it that way.

So, we pick up the broken pieces of our hearts – we remember the good times and memories with mom. We keep her love in our hearts. We come alongside my dad as he moves through life without his lifelong partner of 60 years, wow! That’s a long time <3 They stuck together through the good, the bad and the ugly, and believe me their was plenty of ugly.  They persevered, not always sure how they were going to make it through the winters of their relationship, but always remembering that spring and summer were just around the corner.  No matter how dark and bleak it seemed at the time – they hung on. For that I am so grateful!
As their teenage daughter, I was part of creating some of the UGLY they had to deal with in our lives and their marriage. Sorting it all out isn’t easy and [...]

21 11, 2016

Resilience Can Be Learned – Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Matters

Resilience – Are we ever in need of a HUGE dose of it about now.   The culture chaos all around us has so much to do with emotional intelligence (EQ), also known as Resilience.   

Researcher Daniel Goleman, in his groundbreaking brain and behavioral research shows a shift in how we see IQ and life success.

What is EQ, Resilience anyway?   Up until 2012, in my studies to become a Certified Life Coach, I had never heard the term before.   Was it ever eye opening and life changing to learn how much of a road block the lack of EQ (Emotional Intelligence), or Resilience can be in one’s life.

Emotional Intelligence includes self-awareness and impulse control, persistence, zeal or enthusiasm and self-motivation, empathy and social deftness or skillfulness, ability without difficulty.   The really good news is these all can be acquired.

In his book, Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Dr. Goleman points out that the qualities I just listed above mark people who excel in real life: “whose intimate relationships flourish, who are stars in the workplace.  These are the hallmarks of character and self-displine, of altruism or selflessness and compassion – basic capacities needed if our society is to thrive.”

Why is emotional intelligence, resilience so important for right now as well as success moving forward?   Well, to put it right out there, the personal costs of deficits in emotional intelligence or resilience can range from problems in marriage and parenting to poor physical health.   “New research shows that chronic anger and anxiety create as great a health risk as chain smoking.”  Lack of emotional intelligence, or resilience can sabotage the intellect and ruin careers.  “Perhaps the greatest toll is on children, for whom risks include [...]