Resilience is your ability to bounce back in the midst of adversity and overcome the hurdles of life.  It measures your aptitude for social and emotional interactions and skills that are critical for life success.

Emotional and relational intelligence (ERQ) is being aware of, recognize and understand our own emotions – taking ownership of our own emotions.  As well as those of others around us, and being able to constructively manage our own emotions and how they relate to the relationships around us.

Did you know that ERQ has been found to be more important in the scope of life success than someone’s IQ?

I don’t know about you but that gives me hope.   You are born with your IQ, but your ERQ can be improved upon and changed – a skill to build upon.   That’s cool!

Self-Awareness (Me) is the first key – Emotional Self-Awareness, Emotional Expression, Accurate Self-Assessment build towards Self-Confidence.

Self-Management (I) is second – Emotional Self Control, Anger Management and Self-Responsible – in other words taking responsibility.

Relational Awareness (Us) is third – Relational Awareness has to do with Empathy towards others.  Noticing that someone is in pain.  Being present.  Knowing what “not” to say.  Recognizing emotions in others.

When it comes to Empathy, the secret is listening, not talking.   Learning to be a good listener builds your empathy towards others.

Relational Management (We) is fourth – It encompasses 7 simple steps of ERQ empowerment:

#1 – Define the issue:  Listen & Seek Understanding (Seek First to Understand before being Understood)

#2 – Decide how important the issue is?

#3 – Do you need to apologize or ask for forgiveness? I was wrong.  I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  This isn’t always easy if we haven’t had it modeled us.   Forgiveness is a pivotal key in relationships.

#4 – Ask yourself “What is My contribution to the issue?”

#5 – Take Responsibility for what you can do differently.   Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself – the good ole’ Golden Rule.

#6 – Choose together, what “we” can do differently.

#7 – Do it and review it!  Revisit if needed what you just walked through.  Repeat.

Focus on Solutions – Focus on Personal Growth – Focus on Relational Growth

If this is all new to you and you’d like to grow in your understanding and application of Resilience let me know.   It is a skill you can grow, mature and learn, and I’d love to help you along that journey.