My response to a recent facebook post – just thought I’d share here.

I completely agree that awareness is essential in relationships and to not throw our hearts “into the ring” prematurely.

Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart for it will affect everything else in your life (It is the wellspring of life)

I do not for a second discount the hurt and trauma anyone has experienced from bad relationships.

However, we as women, me included (I’m 51) married for 32+ years, post-abortive with my husband (had an abortion while planning our wedding) – that choice created MASSIVE relationship dynamics for us both. It’s truly only by the grace of God we have survived together and now are finally beginning to thrive as a couple. But it has been hard work at times, HARD work on both of our parts. But worth the effort.

Our culture has created a mess. The lies we buy into as truth can impact us individually and our relationships with the opposite sex. I personally cried out to God years ago saying “I couldn’t live like this anymore” with regards to my marriage. I sensed so strongly that I had been hyper-focusing my finger pointing on my husband and I had three pointing back at me. OUCH!

I also had to look at and get rid of the log in my own eye, so that I could have a better view of anything I was doing to provoke my husbands behavior – he’s only human too!

Again, I must add here – I do not discount any pain, suffering or trauma you may have experienced in relationships from truly bad character.

But, we as women (men do it too) can put unhealthy and unrealistic expectations on each other. From personal life experience, as well as life purpose, relationship and post-abortion healing and recovery coaching, it never hurts to do a bit of self examination in our relationships. I know I did plenty of “provoking to anger” which was not helpful either. A gentle answer turns away wrath.

Just my two cents…. http://ow.ly/i/2rZ2I

Peace out!