Goodness gracious! What a roller coaster of emotions this week! Mother’s Day is supposed to be a time of celebration of MOM and MOTHERHOOD, right?! Don’t get me wrong, I love being a MOM and I LOVE my CHILDREN! In fact, Motherhood is the ultimate profession. A high calling – a profession that can bring out the best and the worst in us right? Builds character for sure!
The emotional roller coaster thing has been a wild ride. It’s been that way for more than 3 decades now. For the majority of that time my emotions were just a mass of confusion. It was only until the spring of 2003 that I was finally able to sort out what that mass and jumble of emotional confusion was all about. Mother’s Day and early May have been tough and I didn’t know why until midway through the healing journey from my past abortion as a scared young woman of 18. My daughter’s birthday would have been around Mother’s Day….it all became so much clearer as the truth unfolded.
You see, no one talked about abortion trauma back then. They tell you you’ll be sad for a couple days so take it easy, sadness will turn to relief and then life can get back to normal. It’s not a baby yet, no big deal – you can have lots more children later when you’re ready. Well, life was never “normal” again!
In fact, the moment I walked out the door of the Lovejoy Surgicenter I walked directly into a prison cell of my soul. Abortion is a deep soul wound. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They are lying to you. We are spirit-soul-body beings – what we do to one part impacts the other parts. When the womb becomes a tomb, where our baby’s lives are snuffed out and ended our soul and spirit are wounded. Thankfully the story doesn’t end there. As I mentioned already, my healing journey in the Spring of 2003. Wow, ten years ago actually! Where does the time go? During that Spring, I was able to acknowledge the LIFE of my daughter. I was able to grieve her loss. I was able to reconcile my heart. I was able to forgive myself after receiving God’s love and forgiveness. No words can describe the power of that LOVE. To think of the miracle of that healing time where God took those 23 years of pain, suffering, darkness, confusion and destruction during a 14 week journey of healing LOVE and forgiveness – My Heart & Soul were finally FREE from the prison they lived in.
Please don’t feel sorry for me. My hope and prayer in sharing my story is that other women and MOMS who have walked this long and winding road as well could find FREEDOM and WHOLENESS in their SOUL. There is hope. There is Help. You are not alone, and you are not crazy! Even though the enemy of your soul would like you to believe that. No my dearest one, you have carried a deep wounding to your soul that you were never meant to carry. You were created to bring forth LIFE. You were, and are created to nurture LOVE and LIFE.
I close with a very special memorial to my daughter, Guinevere Rose. This plaque is placed on the NW Memorial for the Unborn in Newberg, Oregon. A place of peace and quiet reflection for family and friends to reconcile and memorialize their foregone children. My hope and prayer in sharing my story is to Build Bridges of Understanding Through the Reconciliation of the Heart.
Blessings and Peace Be With You. http://ow.ly/i/25n8T http://ow.ly/i/25ng9