3 words are rattling around (well actually more!) but 3 that are intertwined and relevant in a number of conversations I have had with various people the last couple of weeks…actually ever since Independence Day. Independence…Interdependence…Codependence.
Let’s start with defining the core word in each…DEPENDENCE. Just fyi, I will be using the American Dictionary of the English Language – Noah Webster 1828. “Reliance; confidence; trust; a resting on. A state of being subject to the will of an intelligent cause, power or operation. Connection by which one thing is sustained by another, in its place, operations, or is affected by it. Inability to sustain itself without the aid of.”
Okay….so foundationally there we are. Now, INDEPENDENCE…
“A state in which a person does not rely on others for subsistence; ability to support one’s self. A state of being not dependent; complete exemption from control, or the power of others. A state of mind in which a person acts without bias or influence from others.”
Interestingly enough, the words INTERDEPENDENCE and CODEPENDENCE were not in the 1828 Noah Webster’s Dictionary.
So, I went to my iPhone app dictionary.
Interdependence…”of two or more people or things dependent on each other.”
Codependence…”excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.”
It has been interesting how many times these words have come up in random conversations this month. I think partially because we just celebrated America’s Independence Day on July 4th.
But, in the greater scope of things that fact that we are created for relationship. We may have temperaments that are more or less “people-oriented – ie., outgoing or extraverted” vs. “solitudinal – ie., inward or introverted”, but we are so very intertwined and more interdependent than we sometimes would like to admit.
There can be times in our life when we are wounded and hurt by others so we pull away and say “we don’t need them anyway!” But do we?
I believe as we walk through this life one of the greatest keys to success is becoming a good forgiver, not taking everything personally, and not taking offense quickly.
Forgiving ourselves and others and learning to operate in LOVE and not fear is a great starting point. Understanding our INTERDEPENDENCE upon each other. Remember the old adage, “Two heads are better than one.” Live LOVE, Be LOVE, Give LOVE!
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